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Long before she is 16 and thus, in the eyes of the law, “legal”, she’ll be leered at on the bus and chatted up by men five, 10, perhaps even 15 years her senior.

Post-puberty, her school uniform will prompt heckling from louts in vans.

I remember what it was like to be young and “on the cusp”.

When I was in my early to mid-teens, this meant, to some of the men I encountered, I was “not quite legal” or, as many preferred, “jailbait”.

What I remember most about the girls I knew who dated older men was how confident they were among their friends, and how passive they were around their boyfriends. Different people have different preferences,” would suggest that attitudes are changing and that there is a sense that, when an older man pursues a much younger woman, something’s not quite right. Even so, I still hear male friends defending these partnerships, which always makes me wonder: what if it were your daughter? We still have a long way to go before grown men stop seeing teenage girls as ripe for the picking.

We live in a time where many of us pour tons of time and money into staving off the signs of aging—whether that means dutifully applying eye serum every night before bed, or hitting up your derm for some preventative Botox in your twenties.

But some disturbing data shows that as women, if we want to be attractive as we age, the best thing we can do is really just not age past 20.

You have to be really clear on that and set your boundaries accordingly. That only means you won’t be meeting the men you are incompatible with and that’s not really a loss.

If he respects them, then he gets the green light and you two can continue to get to know him. Yes, you might get some radio silence at first but eventually, someone will emerge from that rubble and will be similar to you with values more aligned to yours.

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